1. “I’m FINE.”
But what she really means “I’m really angry, upset and furious and you better figure it out. I would also appreciate if we could have a long conversation about this, no shorter than 45 minutes. If not, I would appreciate if you get out of here.”
2. “Nothing’s Wrong”
She really means: “Yeah something’s wrong, and I want you to care enough to drag it out of me.”
3. “It’s not you, I’ve just been really busy lately.”
But she really means “You suck. Leave me alone. I’m trying to be nice to you.”
4. “I’m not in the mood”
Meaning: She’s not in the mood because you are an idiot and you said or did something to make her mad. Now it’s your job to be a mind reader.
5. “How long have you been with me? Shouldn’t you know what I am thinking?”
…Yes, you need to have magical mind reading magic – AGAIN!
6. “It’s whatever”
What she really means is that It is very significant and it is affecting every single second of her day.
7. “I don’t care where we go to eat”
But she really means, “I care a lot about where we go to eat and I need you to be a mind reader again. So, start naming restaurants. Make sure to name the right one within five attempts because I am already getting hungry.”
8. “You don’t care”
What she actually means is that she feels like you haven’t shown you care about her in a while. Next time she says this shower your girl in love, kisses and hugs and she’ll feel reassured.
9. “Alright. Have fun.”
When in reality she really means that “Under NO circumstances have ANY fun AT ALL. I want you to sit there in misery and miss me every second.”
10. “How do you know her?!”
What she really wants to know is “What is your sexual history with that girl you just said ‘Hi’ to?” Now men, don’t answer this question, it is a death trap!